This Past Year: Rebuilding, Reclaiming, and Finding My Truth

As I sit here, preparing to embark on a much-needed adventure to Croatia, my mind is awash with reflections on the past year. It’s been a whirlwind, a storm, and ultimately, a journey of profound change and self-discovery. This isn't just a vacation; it's a breath, a reset, and a promise I'm making to myself. It's the first true break I've taken since November 2023, and after everything, it feels monumental.

This year has brought me to my knees, taught me brutal honesty, and shown me the incredible strength I possess.

Navigating the Unseen Battles: BPD and CPTSD

Last October, my world shifted with two diagnoses that finally gave names to years of internal struggle: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD).

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood, but at its core, it's a disorder of emotional dysregulation. For me, living with BPD has meant navigating intense, rapidly shifting moods, a deep fear of abandonment, an unstable sense of self, and often impulsive behaviors. It's like having emotions turned up to an eleven, constantly feeling things with an overwhelming intensity that can be both beautiful and devastating. It impacts relationships, self-perception, and overall stability.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is a newer diagnosis that, while related to PTSD, is fundamentally different. While PTSD often stems from a single, acute traumatic event, CPTSD results from prolonged, repeated trauma—often in childhood or in situations where escape isn't possible. Unlike PTSD, which might focus on flashbacks and hypervigilance, CPTSD delves into deeper issues of self-perception, emotional regulation, relationship difficulties, and a pervasive sense of shame or worthlessness. It affects one's entire identity and ability to connect with the world safely. For me, these diagnoses clarified so much about my past and present struggles.

A Physical and Emotional Tsunami: ACL Tear and the Loss of Self

Just weeks after these diagnoses, on November 2nd, I faced another significant challenge: I tore my ACL. As someone whose identity was so deeply intertwined with movement, fitness, and physical capability, this injury was devastating. My body, my temple, felt broken. My fitness routine, a cornerstone of my mental and physical health, changed overnight. I felt lost, disconnected from the very essence of who I believed myself to be. The physical pain mirrored the emotional pain I was already grappling with.

The Path to Healing: Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy

By February, I knew I needed a different approach to healing. That's when I embarked on Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP). It's been an intense, vulnerable, and profoundly transformative journey. KAP has allowed me to delve into the depths of my extensive trauma history and navigate the complexities of living with BPD in a way traditional therapy hadn't. It’s been about confronting shadows, understanding my patterns, and slowly, painstakingly, beginning to weave a new narrative for myself.

Over these last few months, this healing work spilled over into every area of my life. I've been evaluating relationships, commitments, and environments, slowly and deliberately removing things that no longer served my highest truth.

Embracing My Truth: A New Chapter for Elizabeth DeHart Fitness & Elevate Wellness

One of the most significant changes came on August 16th, when I made the difficult decision to leave my coaching and management position at DJK Fitness. It was a realization that I wasn't living my truth, that my values and passions weren't fully aligned with where I was. It was scary, but the choice became clear: I needed to step fully into my own vision.

This decision propelled me to become 100% self-employed, dedicating all my energy to growing Elizabeth DeHart Fitness & Elevate Wellness. This is where my heart truly lies, where I can build a community rooted in shared values, genuine passion, and holistic well-being. This is about creating a space where I, and my clients, can thrive authentically.

Reclaiming Confidence and Learning to Love Again

The last year has truly rocked my confidence and belief in myself. This entire season—this journey through diagnosis, injury, intense therapy, and significant career shifts—has been about stepping into my potential. It started with learning more about who I am, why I am the way I am, and now, it's profoundly about learning to love myself again.

This vacation to Croatia is more than just a break from work. It's dedicated time with myself, a chance to prove that I can trust myself, that I can genuinely enjoy my own company instead of constantly tearing myself down. It's an opportunity to reboot, to fill my cup, so that when I return, I can give my absolute all as a coach. And finally, it's my moment to breathe before another exciting chapter begins: massage therapy school starts on the 13th!

Thank you for being part of this journey. Your support means the world. I'm excited to come back refreshed, renewed, and ready to pour even more into our community.

With love and gratitude,

Elizabeth DeHart