The Chasm Between Trying and Commitment

We often use the word "trying" as a shield. It feels safe, doesn't it? When we say we are "trying" to get to the gym, "trying" to eat cleaner, or "trying" to build a new habit, we are essentially building ourselves an exit ramp. "Trying" provides us with a comfortable cushion; if we fail, we can easily blame circumstance, a busy schedule, or a bad day. It keeps the pressure off because it keeps the expectation of success at arm's length.

But there is a vast, unforgiving chasm between trying and committing.

Commitment is not a casual suggestion or a hopeful goal; it is a non-negotiable contract you sign with yourself. When you are truly committed, the goal isn't just a destination you're hoping to reach—it's a path you've already decided to walk, regardless of the terrain.

Crucially, commitment does not require you to be a robot. You will have days where you are tired, days where you are unmotivated, and days where life throws a wrench in your plans. The difference is that when you are committed, you stop using those bad days as an excuse to quit. You might stumble, you might need to adjust your pace, or you might need to take a recovery day, but you don't terminate the contract just because it got difficult. Commitment is the acknowledgment that you are in this for the long haul, even when the spark of initial excitement has long since faded.

If you are exhausted by the cycle of starting and stopping, it is time to look at your language. Stop trying to reach your goals. Stop waiting for the perfect conditions or the perfect feeling to take action. Instead, start committing to the process.

Commitment means showing up on the mornings you don't want to, executing the plan when it’s inconvenient, and staying the course when the work feels monotonous. Long-term change isn't found in the moments where you feel motivated; it is found in the moments where you honor the commitment you made to yourself, regardless of how you feel on any given morning.

Putting Commitment into Practice: The "Contract" Exercise

The concept of commitment can feel abstract, so let's make it tangible. Use this exercise to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

The Journaling Prompt: Take five minutes to sit down and answer these three questions honestly:

1. What am I currently "trying" to achieve that I actually need to "commit" to? (Be specific: identify the exact behavior.)

2. What is the "exit ramp" I’ve been using? (Identify your most common excuse—is it "I'm too tired," "I'm too busy," or "I'll start on Monday"?)

3. If I were 100% committed, how would I handle my next bad day? (Write out a specific, actionable contingency plan for when things don't go as expected.)

The Takeaway: Once you’ve answered these, treat your commitment like a professional appointment. If you miss a meeting at work, you don't lose your job—you reschedule and show up the next day. Apply that same grace and accountability to your health. Don't quit the contract; just show up for the next session.

Are you "trying" to make a change, or have you made the decision to commit? Remember, the process is where the real work happens. Keep showing up.