Are You Lying About Your Goals?

We have all been there. You sit down with a coach, a trainer, or even just a notebook at the start of the year, and you rattle off the "right" answers.

• "I want to lose 10 pounds."

• "I want to get stronger."

• "I want to be healthier."

But what if those aren't your real goals? What if, deep down, you’re chasing something else entirely—and that disconnect is the exact reason you keep spinning your wheels?

In a recent insight, fitness coach Cody McBroom dropped a truth bomb for clients and coaches alike: Sometimes, we lie about what we actually want.

The "Surface Level" Trap

When we set goals, we often pick the ones that sound socially acceptable or logical. If you’re hiring a personal trainer, it makes sense to say, "I want to track my macros and hit a PR on my bench press."

However, your actual motivation might be completely different. You might be looking for a sense of control, a boost in confidence to navigate a life transition, or simply a way to feel like you’re doing something when everything else feels chaotic.

The problem? If you are training for a goal that doesn’t actually move the needle on your personal fulfillment, your motivation will inevitably dry up.

Why We Lie

Most of the time, this isn't a malicious lie. It’s a defense mechanism.

• Fear of Judgment: We worry that if we tell our coach, "I don't actually care about my lifting numbers, I just want to feel attractive again," it sounds shallow or uncommitted.

• The "Logical" Myth: We think our goals have to be objective and measurable, so we force ourselves into boxes that don't fit our human experience.

• Lack of Clarity: Sometimes we haven’t done the hard work of introspection to figure out what we really need, so we just parrot back what we see on Instagram or TikTok.

How to Get Honest With Yourself

If you feel like you’re constantly "falling off the wagon," stop blaming your willpower. Instead, ask yourself these three questions:

1. If nobody knew I was working toward this goal, would I still do it? If the answer is "no," you’re likely doing it for external validation rather than internal satisfaction.

2. What problem am I trying to solve? If your goal is "losing weight," dig deeper. Are you trying to solve a physical problem, or are you trying to solve an emotional or relational one?

3. What am I actually afraid of? Often, we set a "safe" goal (like weight loss) to distract ourselves from a "scary" goal (like actually changing our lifestyle, leaving a job, or facing an insecurity).

The Bottom Line

Coaching is only effective when the map matches the territory. If you’re working with a professional, stop trying to give them the "perfect" answer. Give them the honest one.

When you align your actions with your true, underlying desires, the "work" stops feeling like a punishment and starts feeling like progress.

Are you ready to stop lying to yourself? Start by admitting what you actually want—even if it sounds silly, shallow, or "wrong." That’s where the real transformation begins.